The lights come up, and the confused yet lively studio audience stare at the blank stage. A single spot light illuminates a lonely microphone. They mumble among themselves, until the young man who first appeared on this stage a year ago arrives. He stands there a little less grumpy than before. His hair and beard now shaven and a bit more presentable.
He stands there, dressed in black khakis with a blue button up shirt. Straightening his tie, he looks for his cue from the teleprompter
“It was 20 years ago today….Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They’ve been going in out of style. But guaranteed to raise a smile….”
The young man pauses completely embarrassed by what he just read. He waits patiently for the teleprompter to be adjusted and corrected.
“Yea fellas”, he smirks for a moment “that’s not my speech. That’s the opening lyrics to the Beatles album Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band.”.
Turning to the crowd he gives a nervous apology while smiling. He exhales and shakes his head as the audience begins snickering. Once again he is given his cue and reads off the teleprompter.
“There was an idea…to bring together a group of remarkable people….to see if we could become something more…so when they needed us …..we could fight the battles….that they never could…”
The young man pauses and throws his hands up in complete disbelief.
“Awe come on…. the fuck is going on ..that’s from the Avengers Infinity War trailer. Who is running that damn teleprompter back there?
Pacing while rubbing his forehead, the audience begins to mumble. The anxious young man stands on the stage, refusing to let them see him sweat.
“Awe for fuck sake…..arrrgh”, he yells while calling for assistance. Suddenly a stage hand runs out on stage and brings the host a bottle of Ciroc. “I’ll do it myself.” He snaps his finger and it becomes dark.
Some easy jazz seductively slithers through the PA system, while he pours himself a drink. The song is ‘Blue Train’ by John Coltrane.
Sitting on the stage, he relaxes. Despite not being able to see the audience he still smiles and nods. He takes a toast to the audience before downing the contents of his glass.
“A year ago I had no idea what I wanted to blog about. No clue what I wanted to use this platform for. But a lot of my friends, family etc said I should try it. Said it would help me along with my journey of being a writer and help me with networking. And I think someone said something about publishing. Not sure.
Anyway, so I took a shot. It was like doing stand up comedy in a way. You walk out on a stage-and just hope you’re funny. You hope that out of the billions of people on this earth, a few ‘get you’. You sort of just feel around, and hope eventually you find your way before you get hauled off the stage by the Sandman, like on the Apollo. You want to use your voice, and maybe wake some people up-without becoming offensive. I mean crap, the world is so damn sensitive these days. You can’t burp or fart without offending someone. Hell I think me breathing may offend some people.
On my facebook page, I’m usually saying this odd sayings “Life with Avorey”. And I’m damn near up to two hundred of those. Just small doses of humor from the dark parts of my mind-which aren’t always correct to say out loud. Most people laugh, which egged friends, coworkers etc on to jump my back about blogging.
And so I did it. But a week before there was no plan. And I tried to use that excuse about “I have no idea on what to blog about.” I tried riding that horse, until a friend of mine shot that horse.
It was during one of my infamous ‘lost weekends’ shenanigans. I was hammered in the parking lot of a strip club, discussing random things with my friend-who had just finished her shift.
She asked me had I started my blog, and I reluctantly said no. She let me know how disappointed she was-cause she was dying to read it.
When I was able to get in my defense, which wasn’t very long—her retort was:
“ Stop…..stop you’re putting too much into this. You’re thinking too much. You’re being a real a pussy now. This is NOT the guy who I know who lives care free. This isn’t my friend I met three years ago who did such a horribly comical job serenading me, while playing his guitar and singing “Bubbly” by Colbie Caillat.
This is NOT my courageous friend who meets me at 3 AM to eat at truck stops every weekend. This isn’t my fool on the hill, who I sit with at the beach to watch sun rises.
This isn’t the silly guy I know who pulled over the car just so he could dance to that ghostbuster song by Bobby Brown.
Just be AVE. Be you. Be unique like you are. Be your crazy unedited looney self. Be the sarcastic, vulgar gentleman I know. Introduce the world to you. Introduce them to your brand of insanity. Take them on a ride that probably will make them look for the nearest emergency exit, and think twice about jumping. Create the atmosphere. Make them laugh, cry, ruffle their feathers-all with a smile on that bearded bumpy handsome face. Pull no punches. Hold no hands. Be like how you are every day. It’s your blog. Your show. Be the not ready for prime time player I know you are. This is your Chevy Chase moment. Do the opening fall, look into the camera and shout ‘LIVE FROM NEW YORK ITS SATURDAY NIGHT’
Go write a blog that I can be proud to read in between performances that will make me say ‘wow, I can’t believe I fuck that guy from time to time.’”
That conversation took place May 13, 2017. A few days later, I sat myself down. Sat in my office with “holding back the years” by simply red playing in the background-with a monster energy drink. And the next thing I knew……I was………… spinning in my chair-and hadn’t typed a damn thing. Lol.
Time had passed, ‘Tennessee Whiskey’ by Chris Stapleton had played and gone. Still nothing. Then suddenly I heard ‘I’m Awake Now’ by the Goo Goo Dolls….and I finally started writing. And it took me to a dark place-took me back to my childhood. And my love of the movie “Freddie’s Dead: The Final Nightmare”. And then the words poured from my fingers onto the keyboard and onto the screen like blood from a sliced artery.
And here we are a year later, with 1,545 people who follow and read my…..’work’. And for an outsider or weirdo like myself-that means a lot. I probably wouldn’t know any of you if we met on the street, but best believe I would feel like you know me. Or at least a part of me that I was willing to share. I say that simply because writing and posting here is like posting a bit of my soul. Be it humor or a serious topic. It’s like we’ve been intimate, but know this if you come up pregnant I do want a paternity test.
And I admit I haven’t posted as frequently as I would like. It’s been a matter of balancing a few novels I’m currently penning. As well as a few movie and tv series ideas I been jumping over on how to write them out. But most recently I had been given a chance to be a guest author in a novel called “Street Vices 2” by Ms Pantha Jones. She’s an amazon author, who read a few of my short stories and thought I would be a good fit for the book. Check her out.
A few other ideas have been brewing as well as to expand the ‘KAKS CORNER’ brand. Which will spill onto a facebook page. So hopefully by the time I have to write another intermission I will have reached a different level of success. And you all can say ‘Hey I been fan of that guy since his blog-now he’s all famous published author.’
So in closing——I thank you for the patience of being a subscriber to my blog. For those of you who have spread the word and newly subscribed. I thank you for taking time to read this weirdness and the thoughts that I transcribe onto this little place in the middle of no where that can be found anywhere.”
The young man stands up and refills his glass with vodka.
“And so continues the show……”
Bowing and smiling he sips his drink and exits the stage.
We now return to our program already in progress…….. DARK CHRONICLES OF A CREATIVE MIND Chapter 12