Life With Avorey #7: What is Love?



What is love? (sings) Baby don’t hurt me….baby don’t hurt more…

Yeah, that usually is the joke people tend to do after that question is asked. We all remember that song from the 90’s. And we all remember that SNL (saturday night live) skit called “Night at the Roxbury”.  Which led to the horrible movie-which starred Will Ferell and Chris Kattan.

A very deep inquisitive question, is it not?  No no, everyone sit down-we’re not about to have a SAT test. But this does seem like one those questions right?  To be honest, this is one of those questions that really doesn’t have a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer to it. A person’s answer is solely based on two important factors. Experiences and perception.

And even deeper still, some people will ask ‘well what kind of love do you speak?’ Which is another layered question. Because there are different types of love. Friendship and platonic love, family love, romantic love-and best of all God’s love. These different types go on and on. But the first that comes to mind, usually is romantic love.

Love is a trap. A double standard. Its the greatest force on earth, that has the potential to build us up and make us better than we ever imagined. But at the same time is has the power to destroy us, and torture us in ways unimaginable.

Now that’s how part of me feels about love. lol. Based off my experiences with it. Hell there are times when I wonder-‘who’s more of a bitch-‘karma‘ or ‘love.‘  I mean honestly could they be or been twins this whole time and no one ever let us know?

Now maybe my jaded view is coming from wearing a pair of cynical dark lenses glasses. While someone else could view love as a mental madness that bonds two souls and willing to do anything for it. lol. While a more a optimistic person could say, love is a choice, one you make each day, regardless of what happened the day before.

I really would like to say everyone’s view on love is different as snow flakes. But at some point we all sort of run the chance of running into each other via definition.

“Love is the purest form of emotion meant to be treasured, respected, shared & held sacred as it forever binds our souls.”

“Love is seeing each other in every type of situation and still wanting to be together/do all you can to help improve each other’s lives.”

”  Love is a knowing, a trust, a vulnerability … coupled with familiarity and compassion. Love is acceptance without requiring the need to compromise!!!   ”

^ Sounds great doesn’t it. To be positive and up beat about it.

But then for every person who thinks of love as this-you have those who think of it in a bad way.

”  Love is nothing but a lie. Makes too many women cry. Makes good men crawl away and die. And has made fools of you and I ”

“It’s a powerful uncontrollable feeling that over powers you until you either have your heart crushed or you remain in love  ”

And then there are those people who can walk the line about it. Who may have had enough bad and good experiences for it to balance out.

”  I don’t think there is only one type of love. You can love in so many ways for example I love my family and friends but I love books tv music and I think you love can get stronger as time passes. I also think if you love what you do it makes you happy. Although love can hurt also love brings out every type of feelings happy sad found lost memories new love.  ”

And then we have those who those who bring up the old classic quote from the bible. An oldie but goodie, that people love to run into the ground. When all else fails-this will cover you. They either quote this or “Love” by John Lennon

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
I Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV

All those are quotes from random people I randomly texted or messaged on facebook.

What are my views on love? Well frankly it depends on my mood. It depends on how my battered and mangle heart is feeling. I got some glue, and I never was good a putting together jigsaw puzzle-so I’m kind of fucked. lol.  On some days my head is clear and I look at it from positive view.

I think on some days its the most dangerous thing on earth. Or even known to man. I think it “kills”  (in a matter of speaking) more people than any disease–ever. I think of the song by Jasmine Sullian, “lions tigers and bears”

I’m not scared of lions and tigers and bears (oh my)
But I’m scared of (loving you)
I’m not scared to perform at a sold out affair (that’s right)
But I’m scared of (loving you)
Am I the only one who thinks an impossible task?
Why it don’t last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

There is a thin line between love and hate, that’s for sure. You love a person and then you get to hate them, and this can happen at any point in life. Love is a mystery once you open your heart to someone you are allowing that person to break it which leads to hate. Life is for us to live, love is for us to share and loving your life is knowing your purpose in life and pursuing it with all you have. But I also know love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist. There’s a difference between being patient with someone and wasting your time.

Love is loving everything about á person, and not keeping á list about her/hers mistakes like a policeman. Its is forgiving.loving is never wanting to lose the person you love. Love is patient. Love is a magical feeling.

Love is different for everyone! Love is unique to everyone! Love is something that is found within yourself and enhanced by those that uplift you and encourage you! Love is only grows stronger with those that are honest with you! Love is pain! Love is laughter! Love is whatever you want it to be for yourself!!

Old as I am, my view on love-like most things are jaded. An imperfect mixture of  reasonable logic and unexplained, uncontrollable emotion. I’ve seen people kill in the name of love. I’ve seen some of the most ‘educated’ people-men and women-be suckers for it. I’ve listened to them stand on mountain tops of arrogance, conceit and self-confidence and drown people in speeches of false bravado saying ‘I know my worth’. But secretly for love, they become the side piece for someone. Reduced to calling from blocked numbers and desperately need and wanting for someone-like a drug.

The most important thing I’ve learned about love is this:

“A man with dreams needs a woman with vision. Her perspective, faith and support will change his reality, if she does not challenge you then she is not good for you. Men who want to stay ordinary will tell you not to have expectations of them, men who want to be great will expect you to push them, pray with them and invest in them

^ That to me is love or at least part of me on a good day sees it that way.

But if you catch me in a sarcastic and cynical mood (which is mostly every day). I’ll probably tell you:

“Love? Oh that’s easy-Its a second-hand emotion like Tina Turner said. And its the name of that Beatles album-with all their songs remixed together. Or something that will have you lurking about in the bushes and what not.”






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