Life with Avorey #5:

An Outsider among Outsiders:

(If you read my blog, please feel free to share and leave comments. On ANYTHING I post. Be the ongoing story “dark chronicles” or the silly commercial commentaries known as “life with avorey”.  I WANT to know what you guys are thinking. Don’t let me stand on this stage continuing to be naked-and not so much as a whistle or a cat call. Or maybe an invite back to your house for a night cap. Hope you’re a having a good day. Enjoy)


I do not recall the first time I was called a nerd or a geek. Hell I don’t even recall how I even found myself in this ‘box’. I just woke up and society had given me this nice little badge of social honor. And it said

“No you don’t eat at that table with those kids-you’re over here.”

Maybe is it by default because I wear glasses? Was that my entry into the nerd, geek, and weirdo fraternity/sorority? Was it because I was a husky little tike who didn’t pay attention to fashion trends? Was it because I wanted the new super Nintendo with the orange gun and power pad, over the newest popular NBA player’s sneakers? Is this where the saying “I didn’t choose nerd life, nerd life choose me” came from?

And I never really had a real problem with being in this community. To me it was a utopia for one to be oneself. To like whatever odd crazy thing, that made you-well YOU. But as I get older the rose-colored glasses have been shattered. And it makes me wonder, is the nerd and geek community-just as savage as the cheerleaders, jocks and popular kids crews. Is there a nerd version of ‘Mean Girls’.

I’m only writing this as to get these thoughts off my brain. Cause they are running rampant like uncouth children in Wal-Mart. Hopefully this will be somewhat of a release for me. So here we go.

I had a dream I was thrown out, in a very unceremoniously manner from the Nerd Community. Yeah right? Sound nuts doesn’t it. And I don’t mean regular thrown out. I mean like “Beverly Hills Cop”, Axel Foley tossed through a glass window.

The infamous Jazz thrown out the Banks home on “Fresh Prince of Bel Air”, type thrown out the community. Hard to believe huh? Well it happen. I was brought before a council of high-ranking judges. They were either dressed like people from Star Wars, and the Shiar from X-men.

Long story short, I had failed the test at renewing my nerd license and registration. It was a test about everything that could cause a nerd to smile in glee. Test questions about anime, video games, comics, and graphic novels. And frankly I had failed. Just not normal fail, but like ‘how can you be this stupid type fail’. Like study all week for a blood test and fail. Or study for a pregnancy test-and fail. But then again, not being a fan of Star Wars or even half-assing acknowledging Star Trek didn’t help my case either.

So after I failed this test, I was drug to the high council-where I was even questioned even more to show I didn’t belong. They asked me about Lord of the Rings. I said I never saw any of the movies, which shocked them. Plus to add insult to injury saying that seeing Kevin Smith sum it up in “Clerks 2”, really made me not want to see it. A bunch of elves walking, only to toss the ring in the volcano.

After that insult I was tied to a pole in the middle of the town square, where I asked about Star Wars and Star Trek. Far as Star Wars I never got the big deal. And only had recently seen Rogue One, and one other film. I just know Luke was on the mountain at the end. I only went because someone had free tickets. But I do recall having a few Star Wars toys as a kid. Go figure. But I always wondered what Princess Leia would be like in a strip club. I mean she had this kick ass nun vibe to her going on, and her buns were kick ass.

Same with Star Trek, I knew of it. At least the original with Captain Kirk. I recall watching it with my grandfather as a kid-only cause it came on before the cartoons I really wanted to see. Outside knowing, whenever Kirk, Bones, Spock landed on a planet with some unknown guy in a color shirt-the random guy was going to die-I knew nothing.

Hmmm, I take that back-I knew Captain Kirk was a space pimp. No matter what the female alien looked like Kirk was going to hit that.
Low key, I use to think that Spock and Uhura was getting it in. I never kept up with the original movies, or any of the spin-off tv series. But I know people go bat shit crazy for them. I never even took the time to see the remakes. But I will consider seeing that one star trek with Sonequa Martin-Green-only cause I loved her in “Walking Dead”.

So after 50 lashes for my disrespect of Star Wars and Star Trek, I was taken back to the grand council. Where I was asked more pointless questions. You know the same shit you see in nerd groups on Facebook all the damn time. “Who would win, Batman or Superman”. And unless you wanted to fight forever and a day with the fan boys-you better say ‘Batman’. And God forbid don’t be disrespectful and say “Does he have prep time or nah”.

To their shock and disbelief, I had never beaten Super Mario 2-which was treason. I knew enough about X-men and Marvel comics for me not to lose my head on the spot. Plus I knew somethings about D.C. comics. The fact that I was a black kid who loves the Beatles made me weird to them, which bought me some points. But it was okay, because I listened to alternative grudge 90’s like Nirvana, Sound garden and Smashing Pumpkins. Also had some hip hop balance like Method Man and Redman, Wu Tang, NWA etc.

They asked me about my thoughts on the classic “Planet of the Apes”. I smirked and said I preferred “The Monkees”. I lost even more points, for never dressing up as someone when I attended comic cons. Which brings me to a pet peeve. You know at one time I use to be foolish enough to believe that there was no judgement or heckling in this community of ‘outcasts’. Talk about foolish on my part. There’s nothing more disheartened to see someone shamed, because they aren’t the right size or color of the person they choose to cosplay.

It broke my heart to actually attend an event, and to witness it firsthand. You could almost hear the person’s heart break. But fortunately there were more than enough people to take a stand for that person. It even bothers me when the community has double standards when it comes to white washing in some sci-fi and comic book adaptions.

The only thing that I got points for, was agreeing that most X-MEN movies by Fox Studios sucked. Every FANTASTIC FOUR movie by Fox was horrible. But even still that wasn’t enough to keep from not being shunned by this community in my dream. lol

The dream gets worse, believe it or not. Fruit was thrown at me for explaining my fear of the hardcore ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ players that hang out in comic shops. I went into detail about my adventures in a local comic shop when I was ten years old. Walking in, grabbing my usual set of books-not paying any mind to the tweleve or so figures dressed as elves, warlocks and kings. They all were around a table, holding cards and rolling dice. It was like watching a civilized dice game in the hood, just replace the liquor, cigarettes and weed with cosplay.

Then suddenly one guy dressed as a magician jumps up, yells about a magic card-and it canceling out a spell. Reminded me of the many times I’ve been at black cook outs, and that one uncle would jump up and slap the card on the table and say “GAME OVER BITCHES…THAT’S A BOOK.”

So with all these transgressions, and unforgivable acts of treason to the nerd community-I was tossed out on my ass. Literally. Again, just like how Axel Foley was tossed out the window in “Beverly Hills Cop”.
My pride and my ass hurt, I stood up. Looking at the seven people who assaulted me, and people gathered around watching on the street. Adjusting my jacket, I felt I needed a snappy come back. Something really to hit them below the belt.

“Batman doesn’t have any real super powers. In fact, he OP (over powered) as hell. And no matter how much prep time he has—-he CANT kick Black Panthers ass.”

This riled them up, and for the next 20 minutes I found myself running from a mob of about 100. That’s when I woke up from the dream. And I recalled all this week, how many people I had seen in the many ‘nerd, geek and blerd’ communities I’m a member of on Facebook, get roasted for not knowing vital info about some of our favorite things. I read post after post, about people saying ‘take their nerd’ card. Lol. It was hilarious. Took me back to the island scene of the movie “Lord of the Flies”.

And as I sat on the edge of my bed, drinking my very own concoction of ‘apple snapple’ and ‘vodka’-I laughed at a concept. A very silly notion of ‘how does one even become an ‘outsider’ to a group of people who are considered ‘outsiders’ and ‘social’ rejects to social society.

To be honest, for a few hours I didn’t have any answer. Then it hit me, I remembered a comedy special called “15 degrees off cool” by Bill Engvall. It was a comedy skit about him and his never-ending journey to be cool. How he was a good guy and a likeable dork-but he just couldn’t get those last few 15 points to be considered ‘one of the cool guys’. You know how when Luther Vandross (the fat lutha, not skinny lutha) use to rock a Jheri Curl-but it never really curled quite right.

So with that idea, I felt a bit more comfortable. Truth be told, I’m not one of those guys who can quote Jordan or Kobe’s scoring percentage. Or who can tell you who has the best form of the tomahawk dunk in the last five years. I don’t know enough of the analytical stats to estimate what quarterback is going to get his team to the super bowl.

But I know enough to engage in conversation when sports is being discussed among normal cavemen. And I know enough about things in the kingdom of the nerds to get by. So with those two mixtures together is where I find myself. Not really down enough or knowledgeable to be in either social class, but my existence is acknowledged. I may get a nod and offered a beer to further engage in conversation.

Hence being ’15 degrees off cool’ to both social classes. Lol. And let’s not forget, my blatant disrespect as stated above for some of the most beloved and iconic properties in nerd culture. So it’s safe to think of me as “What if comedians Ron White and Bernie Mac” had a baby. That would be me. An outsider that was just cool enough-but in the end who really just didn’t give a fuck.


Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read my thoughts. Hope you laughed and that it made some sort of sense. And nooooooow,  the network execs are saying it’s now time to get back to our continuing story “Dark Chronicles of a Creative Mind”


2 thoughts on “Life with Avorey #5:

  1. You know, it’s really funny because I ALSO don’t feel nerd enough to belong in the nerd community. I was always a novel reader, not a comic fan. I loved vampires and vampires, not space people and superheroes. When I don’t want to see the latest D.C. Or Marvel movie, the nerds look at me like I’ve grown 7 heads–which I guess would be cool to them. So I guess they look at me like I just have one head. Like I’m one of those “normal” people who just don’t “get it”. So, it’s good to know someone else feels like an outsider with the outsiders too. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    • 😆😂. I feel like that a lot. Especially when I’m at C2E2 comic con in Chicago.When I see a cool costume and I’m “wow you look awesome. Who are you?” You would have thought I finger banged their cat. I get strange looks like “its such and such from blah blah duuuh”


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